In a stunning, extremely whimsical turn of events, the nearly year-long saga of the search for the missing RJ and Shooky statues has come to an end. Both RJ and Shooky have been found, and they’ve been found together! The surreal circumstances under which they have reappeared could have been predicted by absolutely no one*.
The iconic duo have been discovered on a boat, yes you read correctly, a boat, floating in Paradise Sea. A fishing boat. Yes, they're fishing. The strange scene has citizens perplexed, relieved, and charmed as they trek to see the spectacle with their own eyes.
Following an anonymous** tip, PS Coast Guard went exploring the waters with searchlights around 2am this morning, and found a large boat, floating silently in the dark carrying two unexpected passengers. No other craft were in the vicinity, and no one was reported recently coming or going in that area. Within the hour authorities had formed a perimeter around the boat, treating it as a crime scene, and boarded the vessel to investigate.
And it is quite the vessel. Reportedly 30ft in length, made of a combination of wood and resin, the boat is quite clearly custom crafted, specially designed hold the size and weight of the 10ft RJ and 5ft Shooky.
“Yeah, there’s no cubby or anything. Whole space looks made to accommodate the statues and their uh, gear.”, one NKP officer stated, suppressing a chuckle.
Indeed, both figures were seated side by side, inside their own custom made seat-like apparatus, built directly into the floor of boat and securely positioned. The statues seemed to face no danger of tipping and getting wet with sea water. Their gear, enormous fishing rods, also hand-made to the size of the statues, are mounted and secured in place in front of them, along with over-sized tackle boxes filled with everything an angler could need. And surprisingly, the rods reportedly functioned as intended.
Illustration courtesy of Badly Drawn Namkanda for Hello Namkanda
One anonymous source in the NKP, who’s also an avid fisherman, spoke with HN about the whimsical tableau, clearly trying to restrain the awe in his tone. “They were wrong to take statues, 100%. But I can’t help but admire the work, the damn detail and everything. This damn boat looks hand-made, and it’s a damn good boat. And I mean, these rods, if they were real..I mean, they are real, they’re real rods, they work, but I mean if they were regular human-sized rods, they’d be expensive as fuck. Sorry for ‘fuck’, cut that part out, but yeah, and the boat too, I’m just saying, all of this is worth A LOT. You gotta be crazy to just leave it out here on the water.”
The polished wood of the hull gleamed as the sun came up, finally giving everyone a proper look at ‘RJ and Shooky Fishing’. There was quite a crowd already at sunrise, citizens crowding the beach and the boardwalks, as well as curious citizens hovering around the perimeter on their own boats. Despite the stress caused by the theft and the nearly year long search, everyone was seen with a look of wonder and a smile on their faces, seemingly admiring the setting and the sentiment. “Well, I hate to say it.. “ commented one elderly citizen standing on the pier holding her own rod, “…but that shit is art.”
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Both statues were fully examined by their store’s insurance agents who were somehow immediately on the scene, and found to be completely unharmed.
“Not a scratch, not a dent, not even a smudge! The signatures are covered with some clear protective film that’s easily removed, but all of Vice-President Kim’s autographs are there in perfect condition!”, said one of the appraisers, beaming brightly. “I don’t know where they were all this time, but whoever had them, they….just….well... they cared for them really well.". The appraiser sputtered a bit, then told us there was something in his eye and turned away to dab under his glasses.
Yes, I believe many people had something in their eye today, as news of the statues' discovery spread and fans from all over flocked to the boardwalk to catch a glimpse of the heart-warming scene
The Epiphany Harbor and Seesaw Bay communities now find themselves faced with a delightful quandary: What should be done with this unique display? The statues are the rightful property of their communities, but have become a source of joy for many more fellow Namkandans along the coast of Paradise.
Agreeing with store officials that it would be "a total buzzkill" to reclaim the statues right away and destroy the piece, authorities pulled the boat closer to shore and dropped it’s anchor again, and will be monitoring weather reports to make sure the statues stay out of harm’s way. So for now, the beach front has become a gathering spot where people can sit and enjoy.
The incident has sparked discussions about the enduring power of art, creativity, and the unexpected, but also a debate about responsibility and accountability. NK social media is buzzing with many interesting and though-provoking conversations!
Hello Namkanda will be sure to keep you updated on any further developments!
Footnotes:
* This tweet by the wildly popular national fishing supply company was brought to HN’s attention during our fact gathering and is currently a hot topic among true-crime heist fans:
Citizens point out that this tweet was posted just hours after the Shooky statue was reported stolen many months ago, and sleuths have theories! Check out the hubs on your app to join the conversation!
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