You know what Winter Bear National Park is full of? Bears.
Several recent incidents at Winter Bear have prompted the park service to restrict certain areas temporarily. Rangers issued dozens of citations as well as reminders to respect the wild nature of the park's wildlife, for the safety of everyone and of the park.
Here at Hello Namkanda we aren't notified of every report out of the parks or get the first hand account from every unfortunate person who had their buttocks stitched up with many many stitches due to just barely escaping the reach of a bear (but good on you though, Gary, you did escape) but we do know that the extremely cute and precious stuffed bear plushies available through the park gift shops are very popular, and that is as close as anyone should come to bears in the park and the park rangers would like for us to help them issue a very important reminder to visitors, especially over eager tourists: The bears are real.
We've collected a few of the do and don'ts issued by the park service Twitter account:
"DO store food in bear-proof containers, not your tent. Bears don’t care about personal space, they’ll get all up in your stuff.
DO secure any garbage tightly. Bears are awesome dumpster divers.
DO make noise while hiking. Whistles, clapping, and singing off-key Louder Than Bombs will keep cautious bears at bay—and also humans at a distance, actually let’s leave LTB to the professionals.
DO keep your distance. Bears are beautiful and majestic, not cute photo props.
DO hike in groups. Maybe know your choreo. Bears might think twice about approaching a large group that can break a into a sick Dionysus number.
DO report bear sightings to rangers. We like to know who’s swiping picnic baskets.
DON’T feed the bears. This isn’t a wildlife drive-thru.
DON’T leave food or scented items in your car. Bears know how to open doors.
DON’T approach a bear for a selfie. You will go viral, but not in the way you’d hoped.
DON’T leave food scraps at camp. A hungry bear is a persistent bear.
DON’T underestimate bears. They’re big, fast, and don’t negotiate with snacks.
DON’T wear bacon-scented cologne. Do we really need to explain this one? Seriously, please stop doing this. Stop wearing food-scented fragrances and hiking through the wild."
Seems like some people really do want to poke the bear! Hey look, we realize the shocking vastness and beauty of Winter Bear can be exciting and overstimulating, but let's all just take a deep breath and calm ourselves and step away from the park bears.
Let's stay safe out there everyone!