As if we needed any more reason to be hyped up for next month. Excitement was already reaching perspiration levels as of two weeks ago, when the giant banners for FitFest Namkanda’s bi-annual National Dynamite Expo went up all over the districts to announce the return of the nation’s largest fitness convention, preparing Dynamite to receive the hundreds of thousands of visitors that the event will bring to the city.
Fitness fans of every type and level—gym enthusiasts, trainers, athletes, dancers, and bodybuilders, you name it—are all waiting to get a look inside this year’s celebration of health and wellness, where they can shop, sample new products, try out equipment, attend lectures and demonstrations and more.
This year already promises to be amazing—
The latest news: Hello Namkanda is the first to confirm—YES, not only will all seven members of the National Assembly be in attendance this year, but as a special event, the presidents will have both individual and team up appearances during the convention for a variety of subjects and areas. And while all this excitement is almost too much too handle, the latest drama surrounding the convention is keeping a lot of fans hanging around the locker rooms and water coolers—
The latest drama: The big butts are fighting. Oh, I know, you’re thinking, “no way asses could be arguing”— well reader you hang on actually and just get the full story because our busy reporters here at Hello NK were dropped a bit of info a few months ago, and kept gathering details until it snowballed into one hell of a thing, this thing, adding a bit of spiciness to the presidential appearance at the Expo!
Fans of The Lovely Apple and fans of Cute Peach! are having a time.
The Lovely Apple logo appears courtesy of NK & Co, and Badly Drawn Namkanda
You don't have to be a gym nerd to be familiar with these two brands.
If you simply appreciate looking good in your fit from a certain angle --or appreciate other people’s angles!--then you're of course no stranger to The Lovely Apple or Cute Peach!, the two juggernaut brands at the center of a somehow both lowkey and loud FitFest battle. The brands have been at each other’s throats for weeks.
The Cute Peach! logo appears courtesy of NK & Co. and Badly Drawn Namkanda
For those who may be unfamiliar with these companies, don’t be fooled by the adorable whimsy of their logos, the rivalry between the two brands is well known in the business world, and it is fierce. Both leaders in the glute-focused fitness industry, with many millions of dollars in revenue, strong followings, and cult-like loyalty to their workout programs, this clash is about more than just a single event. It’s about dominance in a market that’s all about building, shaping, and celebrating, the booty. And at every Fit Fest the two brands have been at the top of leader board for exhibitor performance in a highly competitive market.
Enter, the presidents. Two presidents, innocently attending the expo, who both happen to be widely admired (looking respectfully) for certain physical attributes.
Known collectively, and cutely, as Prez Vmin, the two have made appearances separately at Fit Fest before, always to barely standing room crowds, and much to the delight of attendees they participated with exhibitors in a wide range of activities that all concern the importance of fitness and self care.
About a month ago, the floor map providing location and of all the exhibitors was released, as well as general itinerary for all the presidents. And this is where all hell broke lose behind the scenes for the National Dynamite Expo committee, The Lovely Apple and Cute Peach!. One of the brands was going to have to give up their spot.
How did this happen you ask? Well, the mix up is the result of the remodel of the complex last year, and a little tiny computer glitch, which resulted in both brands being confirmed for the same prime floor area in Cheonche Exhibition Hall.
Located at the heart of the venue, that exhibitor area also happens to be adjacent to the keynote stage/lounge area where certain beloved soulmates will be lounging presidentially all weekend. With the increased attention, this unique proximity to Vmin's stage location was not only a prime branding opportunity but a potential moment to grab the presidents as ambassadors for one of the brands. So what might have been a simple logistical headache turned into a full-blown brand battle and PR spectacle.
At first the brands were arguing with FitFest. But then they turned on each other, in an IRL way. From sabotaging products with fake 1-star reviews, to turning off the power in the other's offices, to stopping shipment on company supplies, to poaching top product designers and staffers, and actual eggs on an executive's house. There was also a leaked memo re: “ 'enhancements” vs natural gifts" with pictures of their celebrity spokespersons.
Wow. Well we here at Hello NK weren’t about to wade into those messy waters but we did speak with some Apple and Peach staffers to get their perspectives on the matter.
"Honestly, we believe we’re the best fit for this staging opportunity." said Jae, events coordinator for The Lovely Apple. "Our brand is about health and empowering every individual to feel good about themselves in their skin, and helping them be the best version of themselves they want to be. Lovely Apple thinks the Peach very well know this. It’s not about booty bragging rights.”...
“It’s about booty bragging rights”, says Cute Peach finance officer, Choi Bit. "Neither of Prez Vmin are brand ambassadors, not that we haven’t tried, boy have we tried. They're among the most admired butts out there, everybody knows that. Like even just a rumour that one of them was spotted wearing a set of our athleisure sweats on the way from a coffee lounge sent sales UP my friend, you don’t even wanna know the numbers!” she chuckled, her excitement bubbling over.
(HN remembers that week, "JiBooty" trended wih "Cute Peach" for three days.)
“This kind of situation is rare,” said a spokesperson for the convention as they have been trying to resolve the dispute . “We’re doing everything we can to mediate a solution, but neither brand is willing to budge.”
In the meantime, fans and influencers are eating up the drama. Hashtags like #TheAngryAsses, #GluteGate and #BattleOfTheBooties have trended on social media, with fans of both brands defending their favorites.
As the convention draws closer, pressure mounts for a resolution. Organizers suggest a split schedule, for the two brands to share the stage back to back, or butt to butt rather.
Other exhibitors offered their opinions as well. “Can’t we just merge the thing??" one popular tweet quipped, "The Peach Perfect Apple"... and another, "Vmin there in all their glory would break the internet!"
Oh, that it would.
This is a hot mess that so far just won't quit, just keep your eye here, Fit Fans, we'll keep you updated on this ongoing story!